i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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