I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
