Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
