i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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