When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize