I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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