How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
