i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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