I am spending my child support on dildos
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize