Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
