its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
