I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
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I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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