Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
