that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
