He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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