we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
