chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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