Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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