I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
