I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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