Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
