He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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