I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
