Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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