im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
