so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
