I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
