Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
