I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
