i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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