At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
