Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
