Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
