im gay
i know
yea but for you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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