my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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