Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wanna go halves on a baby?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
