my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
