glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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