Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
