I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
