? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
