Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize