one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
