the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
