You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
