You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
