I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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