Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
