operation harelip BJ is a go
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
