I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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