I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize