If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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