the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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