i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize