I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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