Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize