Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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