You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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