and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize